From Europe to Parenthood - Aaron & Suellen's Mad Adventures!

Halloween Monkey Business

2008-10-31T20:38:00.000-07:00

Monkey and Mama

Drunken Monkey?

Oh Lolly Lolly Lolly...Lolliop!

Haley Monkey

Presents!

2008-10-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

Pondering my Birthday...

2008-10-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

So much to reflect on from the last year, so much I've accomplished, like finding my nostril with my index finger and jammin' it in there...

Thanks for my new Swingset!

2008-10-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Mmmm...ice cream cake.

2008-10-07T20:05:00.001-07:00

It's cold. And sweet. Me likey.

Ducks in a Row

2008-08-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm still hoping to add some photos of our Manassas house, we are really enjoying it, but I'm so far behind I'm chasing my own tail! One of these days I'll post photos of Conor that aren't a month old by the time I get them on the blog. That's what make this picture so funny, because all my ducks are in a row, and it's the only time they probably ever will be!

Crawling!

2008-08-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

Well, if you liked "Walking" you'll love "Crawling!" Coming soon, "Standing," "Swinging," "Laughing," "Climbing" and "Dancing" (which looks like what Triumph the Insult Dog does to stuffed animals!)

Walking?

2008-08-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Conor has a jumping toy, a riding toy, two walking toys, but he prefers to ride on the dog's back and to walk behind random things he can push, like this moving box, or the window bench in my room, or a kitchen chair...you get the idea. He also likes to pull things out of the recycling and lick them! And if Haley doesn't eat all her food, Conor will try to eat it! Or take a bath in her water-no wonder my nerves are shot!

Crabbiness!

2008-08-18T21:17:00.001-07:00

Pickin' crabs is a family tradition, so even though Conor can't actually eat them yet he did grab a mallet and tried to lick the Old Bay seasoning off of it. We both have crabs on our shirts, and Conor even has a crab on his bum!

Is it Morning Already?

2008-08-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

Prodigy

2008-08-18T21:01:00.001-07:00

Here Conor is not only playing his piano without looking, he is also playing it backwards!

Looking for change in the sofa cushions

2008-08-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

Movin' on up, to the East Side (of Manassas, that is)

2008-07-29T21:44:00.000-07:00

"Get out of town! Is this the last box to unpack?" Oh my sweet son, I wish it was!

Does a vacuum suck if it doesn't suck?

2008-07-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

Aaron texted me last weekend that Conor is enamored with the vacuum cleaner, and thinking himself quite clever, stated that the child "must not get that from you." Oh Aaron, I appreciate your effort. I replied, "Well I guess I get the last laugh after all dear, since I've managed to get you to do all the vacuuming!"

Baff Time!

2008-07-29T21:38:00.000-07:00

Lame Excuses

2008-07-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

Since I know you come to this blog to read all of my dry commentary on life, I thought I should mention that you'll get none of that this time around, but stay tuned, I'm keeping a list of all the wry witticisms you've come to love...but if you'd like something to make you laugh, you might enjoy hearing that at least once a week Conor sneezes violently while he is eating solid foods and, in a spray that I'm not sure an industrial wind machine could create, he coats me from head to foot, literally, usually in something orange, like squash or sweet potatoes...

Seersuckers

2008-07-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so there's no explaining why Conor makes the faces he does, but why is my mom making that same face? Must have been something in the seersucker they're both wearing...

Chillin'

2008-07-29T21:29:00.000-07:00

Who eats in this position? Oh wait, I guess Aaron does sometimes, well that explains it!

Free Chikin'!

2008-07-29T21:24:00.001-07:00

Free Chicken? We're there! I've been asked why I'm laughin' like I am in this picture. Aaron was standing around a blind corner in the drive thru lane trying to take the photo and I kept encouraging him to come up on the sidewalk where it was safer because these Northern Va drivers even come around the corner of the drive thru on two wheels but he of course wasn't listening to me so this expression on my face is when he almost got run over...oh Aaron, when will you listen?

Standing!

2008-07-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

Conor started pulling to standing in Waynesboro (as well as trying to climb the stairs!). I think this is his concentration face.

Have a Striped Fourth of July!

2008-06-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

Two prayers

2008-06-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

Lest you think it's all smiles and giggles here, I wanted to include two prayers from an Iona prayer book a dear friend in N. Ireland sent me that really encouraged me through the difficult times of low energy and no Aaron these last few months.

Lord Christ,
enable me to place my trust in you,
and so to live each day in the present moment.
So often I forget
that you long for peace
and healing in my mind,(body)
and heart.
Your song pierces
even my darkest days,
and your hands
are always
and everywhere,
the source of
my journey
into wholeness
and that inner springtime
which is your gift alone,
Jesus the Risen One.

Evening Prayer (based on a traditional celtic prayer)
Thanks be to you O Christ our lord,
for the many gifts you have given us:
each day and night, each sea and land
each weather fair, each calm ,each wild.

Tonight may we remember your mercy
given so gently and generously:
each thing we have received, from you it came;
each thing for which we hope, from your love it will come;
each thing we enjoy , it is of your bounty,
each thing we ask, comes of your disposing.

O Lord, from whom each thing that is freely flows,
grant that no tie over-strict, no tie over-dear,
may separate us from your constant love,
or from the needs of our neighbours
in whom your face shines
each day and night.

Freaks!

2008-06-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

My mom saw this and said she thought Aaron looked like he had escaped from a mental institution, so I thought I should add it for everyone's enjoyment! This poor kid has no chance of being normal, does he?

Like Father, Like Son

2008-06-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

One picture shows Conor's two bottom teeth, one does not. To get him to smile, Aaron was bending the boy's legs up to his head until his toes touched his ears and nose, silly boys!

Just a Swingin'!

2008-06-15T20:00:00.001-07:00

Conor got his first taste of the ectasy of swinging at a church picninc today, somehow I have a feeling that this is only going to lead to more daredevil climbing, sliding and all around horseplay way too quickly!

Clogger in training...

2008-06-15T19:57:00.001-07:00

The ladies in my clogging group made Conor a sequined vest and shoes with taps to match the rest of the group...we will dearly miss them!

Ribbit!

2008-06-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

From Mother's Day to Father's Day...

2008-06-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

So here's the basics: Aaron graduated May 23rd and began working in Fairfax June 4th. He comes home on the weekends now and last week and this week is staying with our good friends, Rick and Patti Bright in Manassas, who's house we are going to rent starting July 1, once the movers get all of our stuff up there. Hopefully we will send out an update after the weekend of the 4th with our new address, phones numbers and emails will remain the same. I hadn't planned on a 4th month alone, so I am really ready for when we'll all be together again in July! Hope to reconnect with folks once we get a little more settled!

Laughter IS the best medicine!

2008-05-11T13:03:00.000-07:00

Mom's hair tickles...

Ode to Mothers

2008-05-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Signs You're a New Mom...

10. You've washed an entire load of dishes without adding soap.
9. You can't remember nouns: "I need it" or "Bring me the thing."
8. You go to shop at your favorite hip store and bypass the women's section and go straight to baby clothes!
7. You've saved hundreds of magazine articles on feeding, sleeping, etc. and have no idea where you've put them!
6. You discover dried toothpaste on your arm, and, two days later, notice it's still there!
5. Your husband asks, "what's that new scent you're wearing?" and it's the smell of diaper rash cream!
4. There's more hair in your brush than on your head!
3. Stool softener is your new best friend.
2. When you finally do shower you discover you only shaved one armpit.
1. You've asked the question while changing a diaper, "WHAT did you eat?"

7 Months Old!

2008-05-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

This one's for daddy...

2008-05-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

So I've been trying to teach the boy French and sign language, and instead he's picked up panting like the dog and blowing his lips together to make fart noises! Oh Well!

Updates & Stories

2008-05-11T10:26:00.001-07:00

Wow. What a wacky 3 months it's been with Aaron gone. I hope I never have to do this again! Aaron finds out which office he will be working in this week, graduates next week, we go a house hunting the following week, then move the week after that (June 5th-6th).

Conor sprouted two bottom teeth the last week of April, is mostly sitting on his own unless his giant, egg shaped head tips him over (seriously, I've been looking at other kids his age and they all have nice round heads. This poor child inherited his mother's pencil neck and his father's noggin- think "Heed! Pants Nyow!" from So I Married An Axe Murderer.) Just today he's been consistantly holding his bottle by himself. He can barrel roll across an entire room, and knows how to change direction by lifting his legs and pivoting 90 degrees. I've been trying to encourage him to play with the 6 month toys, but of course he prefers to grab everything in sight, especially my hair and the frayed ends of my jeans while making fart noises. I did see an interesting toy online recently, a clown named "Titoon," which strikes me as funny/scary/intriguing.

I thought we were getting old when we started watching Jeopardy when I was pregnant. It's only gotten worse. Now I'm watching "60 Minutes," "20/20" and eating oatmeal! Seriously, I should qualify for a senior citizen discount soon.

Some new mom stories I realized I have not yet described (for those of you who say my blunders make you feel a lot better-be encouraged, there appears to be no end to what I can't do!) A day or two after I got home from the hospital, I noticed I had some supplements that promoted "healthy milk." I thought, "Huh, I'd like to have healthy milk." So I googled the supplement online just to make sure it was kosher, and popped a pill. It wasn't until my chest nearly exploded the following day thay I realized "healthy milk" means increasing milk production, which I didn't especially need any extra help with!

While you might think you'll sing all the lullabies to your child your mom sang to you, unfortunately new mom brain fog and fatigue combine to make it so you can remember none of the lyrics to children's songs. I noticed this when I was trying to sing to comfort Conor one afternoon after several rounds of the only thing I could remember the words to, Kenny Rogers's "The Gambler." Conor will at least know that he needs to know when to hold 'em and when to fold em.'

Aaron and I both managed to get the incredibly simple math and measuring required to give a child a bottle of formula wrong, on multiple occasions, and in several different ways, which made the poor child constipated. Honestly, it's a little scary how easy it is to mess up the simple things. Like putting a metal clock on the bookshelf in the nursery, which, when the washing machine got going especially violently, dove off the bookshelf while Conor was napping, creating such a racket that we thought he'd fallen out of the crib! Utter pandemonium!

We'll leave Waynesboro with many fond memories, but one of the sharpest I think that will be forever burned into my brain, is the smell of dead skunk in the rain. You just don't forget something like that.

Big Grin!

2008-05-11T10:23:00.001-07:00

Camouflage with Attitude

2008-05-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

Wearing Nothing "Butt" a Smile...and Socks!

2008-04-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

2008-03-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

Nothing celebrates the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ more than a rappin' pink bunny, wearing a fake bling medallion emblazoned with the name "Fluffy B" and singing the following lyrics:

Cotton candy, sweet-n-low, Let me see that tootsie roll!
Come on tootsie roll,
Just make that tootsie roll (aw) , uh tootsie roll
Just make that tootsie roll, yeah, yeah tootsie roll,
Let's see that tootsie roll!
Get up and roll!
Just make that tootsie roll!
To the left, to the left, to the right, to the right,
To the front, to the front, to the back, to the back
Cotton candy, sweet-n-low, Let me see that tootsie roll!

Here Comes Peter "Conor"-Tail!

2008-03-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

Honestly, is there no end to this tomfoolery? Will he be mortified to see this pictures one day? You bet! Will I take them out and show them to his prom date-absolutely!

Wish I could take credit for this photo...

2008-03-23T13:29:00.001-07:00

One More...

2008-03-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

There are so many of these and they are all ridiculous. The shirt reads, "Future Ireland Rugby Star." I dedicate the wearing of the white socks in these pictures to my Irish friends, you know what I'm talking about!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2008-03-17T19:58:00.001-07:00

Seriously, you had to see this one comin'.

A Monkey's Uncle

2008-03-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Conor is pictured here with Aaron and his older brother, Peter. They wanted to get a shot of the wee boy now just in case he grows up to be as tall as they are!

Missing Dad!

2008-03-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

And getting kisses from Haley!

And Chuck Taylor high tops!
I do like biting my bug and wearing striped pants!
What? What's that you say?
Look how sad I am that my dad's not here!

Dazed and Confused

2008-03-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

funnies

2008-03-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

I just got these in an e-mail and I thought they were worth sharing:

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?What are we supposed to do, write to them?Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps?so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea,does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

If people from Poland are called Poles,then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

2008-03-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

No, there's nothing wrong with your volume or your computer, Conor actually went through a phase for several weeks where this nails on a chalkboard like screeching was his preferred method of communication. He wasn't upset when we recorded this, just talking and playing, and making sounds like cats mating/being murdered on a barbed wire fence!

3 Hill Clowns

2008-03-02T20:50:00.001-08:00

Conor poses here with Uncle Pete and cousin Amanda. I imagine that he's wondering if there is anyone in his family that is "normal." Sorry, son, you're stuck with us, and we're all goofy! I can't wait to get you a clown costume just like mine!

Conor Tales & Other Stories

2008-03-02T19:58:00.000-08:00

Spring is just around the corner, and in Waynesboro this means the celebration of all things new, like Sonic, Petsmart, Sheetz, and Kohl's. We're in business now! It also brings new milestones for my precious little boy. I thought it was cute when the dog licked Conor's sweaty feet and he uncurled his toes and stuck his feet out and laughed. That is, until the day when my son licked the dog. He's pretty, but not so bright.

I've got some ideas for the toy companies. Make a toy made out of a woman's hair, that when a child yanks on it yells, "Ow!" Or one that feels like arm skin and yells: "Don't do that!" Or a non-toxic magazine like paper or expired coupon toy that crinkles and can be licked. Or a nose he can pinch and a mouth he can stick his fingers in. These delight my son. I know they make cell phone toys, but I'm sure they aren't nearly as fun as my actual phone. Or the actual remote control. Or a towel, or my shirt. Anyone need any barely used baby toys? I'm sure you'll tell me that he uses taste to discover the world around him, but I'm not sure how to feel when I kiss his cheek and he grabs my hair on both sides so I can't pull away and then licks the side of my face!

Conor likes to stroke Aaron's chin when he hasn't shaved it in a few days, which might seem endearing, until I tell you that he also does the same to my armpit when he's nursing! Seriously child, I do not have time to shave every day just so you can stroke my armpit! Of course, maybe we deserve it, for some of the new parent stunts we've pulled. Aaron accidentally cut Conor a little while trimming his wee fingernails, so he wrapped his finger in a tiny band-aid. We both thought this was very cute, until I realized that this was probably a choking hazard. Aaron decides we should just watch Conor closely, especially since he's so prone to sticking his fingers, fists, both hands at once, etc. in his mouth. Shortly thereafter I notice the band aid is missing and start shouting, "The Band Aid! The Band Aid!" We start beating the poor child on the back and looking all over the sofa and floor to see if it fell off. Finally Aaron sticks his finger in Conor's mouth and finds it stuck to the roof of his mouth-good grief! We told this story to our pediatrician who told us that his son mysteriously pooped pennies, which made us feel a little better.

Conor enjoys looking at himself in the mirror, so I've been holding him and singing Michael Jackson's, "Man in the Mirror" (why can I remember the words to this and not to any nursery rhymes?). I'm even teaching him Jacko's trademark crotch grab! Of course the day Aaron leaves town for 3 months the boy figures out how to grab his groin, diaper, and me while I'm trying to change him. Last week he grabbed his foot for the first time and was so excited he didn't want to let go of it, so he just kept pulling it farther and farther back. Until that made him fart, which made him laugh. He is definitely his father's son! Although I suppose I should have seen all this coming early on, since shortly after Conor was born, they laid him naked on my chest so we could bond and each of us could get cleaned up a bit. It was a warm moment for all of us, but for me it was especially warm, literally, because Conor pooped on me! Welcome to the world son, and welcome to parenting, Mom!

Here's an Aaron story: one morning, as Aaron left for work, he put on his glasses and got in his car. He thought he was just tired, because his eyes still seemed to be bleary. When they didn't clear up 15 minutes into his drive to work, he really began to worry that something might be wrong with him, telling me later that he "thought he might be having a seizure." Thankfully, he took his glasses off and looked at them closely, only to find he was missing a lens! And this man investigates for a living!

I've enjoyed buying Haley a costume for Halloween in the past, and was amazed at the variety of costumes made for dogs. Here are a few possibilities: Elvis, skunk, police uniform, pimp, tuxedo, French maid, Uncle Sam, soccer player, pirate, Robin Hood, sailor, and Geisha girl. What will they think of next? Incidentally, we found out this winter that Haley is actually missing an eardrum in the ear she's never raised up, although I still believe she chooses not to listen more than she actually can't hear!

I also wanted to share some of the fun baby names we stumbled across during pregnancy- Guillermo, Angus (great strength) Jemima (from the Bible), Hulda (Biblical- "weasel") and Crispin (curly hair). We used to think it was funny when Aaron and I were dating and my family kept mistakenly calling Aaron "Irwan," or "Ian." We wouldn't have guessed however how many people would call Conor, "Conrad."

Smiling Monkey

2008-03-02T17:46:00.000-08:00

Napsters

2008-03-02T17:39:00.000-08:00

I have a frame with a border that reads, "Nap Like You Mean It." I think this picture sums that up just about right!

Musings & Quotes

2008-03-02T17:07:00.000-08:00

A few deep thoughts I've been pondering:

If Superman shoots fire from his eyes, what happens when he sneezes? Or even worse, gets diarrhea?

Why do babies enjoy pooping? Or is this something we've lost as adults, and we're all supposed to be laughing as we empty our bowels? If "a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" does a belly full of laughter make the doody go down?

Why is snow called "falling weather?" Is there such a thing as "rising weather?" Or is that what's meant when folks say "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise?"

Why do the batteries in smoke alarms only run out in the middle of the night, causing the detectors to beep incessantly?

We spent last Easter in New York city with dear friends from Northern Ireland, and they taught us these fun phrases: "Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you," "Shift your arse" (move over) and "a lick and a promise" (what does this mean? It sounds like something you'd use if you're going to hit someone!) The teenagers were playing cards and one said offhandedly to the other, in the same way we'd say something like "blow it out your ear," the phrase, "You'll fail at life!" Wow that is harsh-we love it! When an Irish friend visited us in Waynesboro he taught us, "Build a bridge and get over it!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Before Conor was born I wasn't working, so my favorite quote was in Italian: "Il dolce far niente," which translates "the sweetness of doing nothing."

My mother, who is in her 60's tried to tell me that my then 11 year old nephew recieved for Christmas a gameboy, but instead called it a "playboy."

Aaron has recently accepted a new position as a postal inspector (more on this later) and he loved being a police officer, but I can't resist including this quote on policing I stumbled on: "Police work is hours of boredom interupted by moments of unbelievable horror."

I told Aaron's brother, Peter, that in the past, I had occasionally abused caffeine. As a medical professional I was surprised when he replied, "I don't call it abuse, I call it 'what I need to live!' "

Is it Huntin' Season Yet?

2008-03-02T16:46:00.001-08:00

In the News

2008-03-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

Well I've gotten behind again, so I'll try to catch you up on the milestones and silliness as well as Hill family news. Let's begin with wacky news articles:

"Apparent Piece of Human Scalp Has Police Searching:" Found by a puppy and turned into police, officers in Washington state were going door to door trying to determine what might have happened to the owner.

"Police Allege Motorist Strapped Beer in Seat Belt, but not Toddler:" from Florida, a driver was arrested after running a red light for strapping a 24 pack of beer in a seat belt but had a 16 month old girl sitting in a person's lap in the back seat.

From Valentine's Day: "Dear Abby, My 94 year old mother, who lives in a nursing home, has had so much fun making valentines for all her grandkids-ages 17 to 46. She sent a picture taken of herself in a bubble bath and wrote, 'I hope your day is as happy as I am here in this picture. Proverbs 15:15, "For the despondent every day brings troubles; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast!' Happy Valentine's Day!' " (this one disturbs me on several levels, but I suspect if I make it to 94 I will probably being doing similar kinds of things, so if you're still around, and get something in the mail from me, do not open it!)

I found some oldies but goodies from when I used to read "The Irish Times" online:

"Prostitutes Doing Double Shifts to Cope with World Cup Demand."

"Polish Leader Pulls Out of Top Level Meeting in Germany because German Newspaper Compares him to a Potato."

"Chavez calls Bush 'more dangerous than a monkey with a razor blade.' "

Also in the news recently, Forbes ranked Charlottesville, VA #17 in the top 25 smartest cities in the country-yeehaw! And research is being done to create biodiesel fuel from the algae that grows on sewage- now that's clever environmentalism!

Conor likes bibs just like mom!

2008-01-27T21:48:00.000-08:00

Almost 14 weeks old in this photo...

You knew it had to be done!

2008-01-27T21:46:00.000-08:00

We'll be showing this one when he goes to prom, of course there are more that are not as Austin Powers cleverly disguised as this one is!

One last Christmas photo...

2008-01-27T21:37:00.000-08:00

Look what I found in my big stocking this year!

Boobs!

2008-01-27T21:01:00.000-08:00

Wow, time sure flies when you're sleep deprived...but we really can't complain. Conor was sleeping 11 pm to 8 am by two months and is now going from 10 pm to 9 am. It is actually true that babies reach a point where you can just keep putting them to bed earlier and they'll just sleep more and more. And when he's awake, he's often quite content to sit in my lap and watch the box with lights (tv)!

The headlines have been especially wacky recently: "A Swedish bomb squad called out to disarm a suspicious package on Wednesday did not find a ticking bomb. But they did find a vibrating sex toy." And legislation here in VA: "Drive in Virginia with outsized rubber replica testicles dangling from your trailer hitch and face a fine...male genitalia swaying from a car distracts other drivers."

They tell you when breastfeeding to alternate which breast you begin and end with. My mom visited again after Christmas. When I was nursing one afternoon she noticed the rectangularly shaped burp cloth I had thrown over my shoulder kept falling off. A few hours later that same evening, as I was nursing again (au natural, i.e. topless), Mom came in, looked at my revised setup of pillows, towels, different burp cloth etc. and commented, "Well that IS a good sized one that hangs down just right." I was mortified and turned beet red, sputtering, "Mom, you don't get to comment on my breasts!" She laughed so hard she nearly peed her pants and finally exclaimed, "I was talking about the burp cloth!"

More new mom mistakes: today I backed the Mini out of the garage and forgot I'd removed the stroller from the back of the truck and laid it behind the Mini. Thankfully there was melting snow on the driveway, so the stroller just slid down and out of the way before I could drive over it. They shouldn't let sleep deprived people drive!

This week Conor's been learning to take naps at regular intervals in his crib instead of any and everywhere else whenever he felt like it (he's gotten too alert and easily distracted for this now) so I put him in the nursery and turned the space heater on, thinking he'd probably only sleep 45 minutes but hoping he'd sleep an hour and a half. Two hours later I called Aaron a little alarmed at how long he was sleeping. I finally couldn't stand it any longer after 3 hours, so I went up to check him and when I opened the door I was greeted by a tropical surprise-the room was 79 degrees (about 20 degrees celsius)! I thought for sure the poor child would be completely dehydrated, but he actually was sleeping very deeply!

This week he also accomplished grabbing both hanging rings on his travel swing and gripping them for dear life while he was swinging. But that's not all, he also used them to pull on while he passed man sized gas and had a giant blowout in his diaper! His face turned red-I so badly wished someone else had been here to see it!

Did you know, that baby's breath (at least my breastfed baby's), like the flower of the same name, smells sweet? Why then do my baby's armpits smell like cheese? Why, when I kiss him, does he open his mouth really wide-is he French? And why when I try to get sock lint off his feet does he curl his monkey toes in a vice like grip? The child also spits up, lets it begin to drool out of his mouth, then at the last minute, sucks it back up!

One morning I laid him down on my bed next to a pillow I sleep with my arms around, so I was not surprised when he turned to it and began stroking it because I figured it probably smelled like me (and to be brutally honest, probably smelled like his favorite parts of me if you get my drift!) I was not, however, expecting him to close his eyes and attempt to nurse from the pillow! Here I thought he loved me, and it turns out any old breast scented pillow will do!

Conor's first word..."Oh!"

2008-01-11T22:00:00.000-08:00

Random updates

2008-01-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

While there are times I think I gave birth to a chimp, other times I know Conor's truly Aaron's son, like when he laughs in his sleep, or the way he really enjoys nudity. And the way he refuses to keep a blanket on unless it only covers one leg and he can kick the other leg out. He also enjoys peeing on the changing table or into a new diaper as soon as I put it on him. He is currently working on sticking both fists in his mouth in an attempt to suck his thumb. I like to think I've taught him to say the word, "Oh." I've posted that mesmerizing video footage above. And if that doesn't do it for you, I'll have to post a clip of me clogging while pregnant! While we've tried to introduce stimulating toys, Conor's favorite things are still a shiny balloon and ceiling fans. And his big head is growing so fast that he keeps outgrowing his hats!

I always thought babies were supposed to smell like baby powder, but for some reason my son smells like urine, like in a public restroom or a bar. A few endearing experiences I've had include fat lips, black eyes, and neck scratches he's given me while he's nursing. He usually also ends up with a fistful of my hair too.

I have not sold my Mini Cooper yet, although chances are still good that it will need to go sooner or later. We ended up buying a Toyota Rav 4 to haul Conor and all his stuff. The license plate is BA B BLU which is supposed to read "Baby Blue," although we still get a lot of folks asking, "what's 'bahbah blue?'" And for those of you who keep calling my phone before 11 am and leaving messages-I'm still sleeping late!

We just figured out that Aaron's initials are "Ah...," mine are "Sh!" and Conor's are "Chill." All quite fitting.

I'll finish with this. Last week I woke up to a high pitch whining noise which I thought might be the baby. After I checked on him I returned to bed. A short while later, I heard it again, and thought it must be Haley crying outside our bedroom door (so of course I took her back downstairs to her dog bed and covered her with a blanket.) At this point I'm wide awake. I went back to bed to try to begin the process of going back to sleep again only to discover that the noise was a kind of snory nose whistle coming from Aaron! I was so peeved I thumped his chest and told him to roll over and quit blowing his nose whistle!

Monkey and Mama

2008-01-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

Aaron turns 33, Conor turns 3 months!

2008-01-11T19:32:00.000-08:00

Headlines

2008-01-01T19:23:00.000-08:00

I like to collect funny headlines and quirky news bits, as in the following:

"Two men were arrested at Dublin airport after an incident in which a passenger stood up and urinated at the rear of an aircraft as it was about to take off."

"Woman accused of groping mall Santa."

"Waynesboro man gets second DUI on lawnmower."

And finally a story from Connecticut, where a teacher who was working late and thought the school was empty, was terrified into calling the police and barricading herself into her classroom when teenage custodians played the song "Welcome to the Jungle" over the PA system. Six troopers and three dogs arrived and cuffed the teens for 15 minutes until it was straightened out.

Life is funny!

Christmas Day!

2007-12-30T23:55:00.000-08:00

Well I think the look on Conor's face when he's sitting on Aaron's lap sums it all up. He received (from his mom) a onesie that reads, "Poop is my business. Business is good." You may recognize some of the gifts from baby showers and such in the picture I call "Loot;" I figured I could re-wrap them and give them to the boy again for Christmas and he wouldn't know the difference (Sh! Don't tell him!) It is this creative thriftiness that enables me to stay at home and work for no pay but endless benefits!

We match!

2007-12-30T23:32:00.000-08:00

Both mom and baby have footed pajamas! You know you love it!

Photo outakes

2007-12-30T22:50:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are a few of the photos that were just not quite right for this year's Christmas photo...

And the winner is...

2007-12-20T20:57:00.000-08:00

It took 90 photos to get this one we chose for Christmas cards-Aaron nearly killed me! We tried to get ourselves and Haley in the shot with a timer and funny hats and it was just too much! Stay tuned for outakes of the photos that almost made it and ones that might get us in trouble with Social Services for trying to dress up and pose a child this young!

Ten Weeks Old

2007-12-20T20:55:00.000-08:00

Nine Weeks Old

2007-12-20T20:51:00.000-08:00

Isn't tongue rolling genetic?

What makes it all worth it...

2007-12-14T10:44:00.000-08:00

While none of the books I've read list this as a significant milestone, I am convinced it is. Today, my son laughed and smiled at his own farts for 10 minutes. He is indeed, becoming a man.

We're getting ready!

2007-12-14T10:42:00.000-08:00

Christmas Song

2007-12-07T22:02:00.001-08:00

These are the lyrics to my favorite Christmas song:

Montgomery Gentry - Merry Christmas From The Family lyrics

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of pampers , some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night o' holy night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Mix Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
A box of midol, some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

...and after!

2007-12-07T21:59:00.000-08:00

Before...

2007-12-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

One of Aaron's co-workers' wives was due a month before I was, (all in all there were five police babies born in less than 4 weeks) so here are the before and after shots. My shirt reads, "Does this baby make me look fat?"

More tales

2007-11-29T21:05:00.000-08:00

I suppose you expected me to post a picture of the baby dressed as a turkey for Thanksgiving? Maybe next year!

A few strange things I've noticed...Target is advertising a large, remote controlled tarantula as a toy for Christmas-what the heck? This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Carnation is making hot chocolate with added caffeine, as much as a cup of coffee-I thought cocoa was supposed to be soothing.

Three new mom mistakes I've made this week: pulled the stroller and didn't set the brake, picked up the car seat, turned around to see the stroller rolling through the parking lot, thank goodness the baby wasn't in it!. Put a new hat on Conor while he was in his car seat, drove for 15 minutes, went to get him out and saw the hat had slipped all the way down his face and was under his chin. I was sure he'd suffocated and died. Thankfully it was breathable. But my favorite was when I was trying to hold him and eat lunch at the same time. I looked down and noticed pizza crust in his hair and thought that was funny, until he looked up at me with a piece of POTATO CHIP STUCK TO HIS EYEBALL! I was sure he'd go blind because of me. How are you supposed to get that off? I sat frozen, not knowing what to do, I think he eventually blinked it out. The only thing that makes me feel any better is Aaron's obsession with cleaning the cheese (dead skin?) out of the child's armpits.

I'm King of the World!

2007-11-29T20:05:00.000-08:00

And still...

2007-11-27T21:44:00.001-08:00

My "You Might Be a Redneck" calendar had the following recently: You might be a redneck if...you're familiar with Copenhagen but have never heard of Denmark." Hilarious!

Conor turned 7 weeks this past Sunday. He is so close to being able to get his thumb in his mouth. Today he stuck his entire fist in there several times. Of course, he also punches himself in the face and head several times a day with failed attempts. I've also noticed that if he's sleeping on my shoulder and he startles he's now strong enough to push off with his feet and launch himself straight away from my body to test my catching reflexes-sneaky bugger!

There's a lot they don't tell you about breastfeeding either. You have this idea that your child is going to recognize you, gaze at you adoringly, smile up at you (he is just starting to actually smile we think, although he has had man like gas from the very beginning, so it could be that!) but when my son gets near me he starts hooting, breathing heavily, and making "O" shapes with his mouth as if he might actually starve. Touching, really. I'm also not sure what to make of it when he flails, cries, screams, grunts, punches, smacks, slaps, kicks at my armpits, breasts, whatever during nursing, but it has earned him the nickname, "grabbytits." Today he tweaked my nipple so hard I screamed. How can a child with no coordination or clear vision have that kind of accuracy? Of course this same child pecks at Aaron's chest like a chicken when he is hungry as well, so maybe he's just a lucky shot. And yet, sometimes he will caress or point at the breast he is not nursing on as if to say, "You, you're next!"

Skeptical? Quizzical? You Decide!

2007-11-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

On Dad During a Rainstorm-yikes!

2007-11-27T21:37:00.000-08:00

Got Milk?

2007-11-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

What they don't tell you

2007-11-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

So I got Aaron a plaque for being a new Dad. It reads "I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off." He decided he would buy his own new Dad gift, Call of Duty IV for x-box.

One new experience no one mentioned was doing laundry at 4 am. I mean, hey, we're up anyway, and most everything's got urine or vomit on it (and that's just from me!)

When my mom was here the first week after Conor was born, she asked us if we were going to give him a "diddy bop." We weren't sure if this was some old fashioned way to describe breastfeeding, but it turns out she meant a pacifier. After calling it that for awhile, we're now referring to it as "P. Diddy."

If we sign cards Suellen, Aaron and Conor our initials will spell, "Sac." That's funny. More fitting however, is adding Haley, or Hill, so that we get "CASH."

They don't mention it in the books for new parents. but the same hormone that causes you to go to bed at 11 pm must be the one that causes you to start religiously watching "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy."

Aaron and I've decided that I'm suffering from "postpardum aggression since I'm tired, irritable, and cranky. Although, really, I was like that prepardum too. And if we're really honest, I was like that pre-pregnancy too!

Going Out

2007-11-14T20:19:00.001-08:00

The Thinker

2007-11-14T20:17:00.000-08:00

Fight the Power!

2007-11-08T15:42:00.001-08:00

Parental Musings

2007-11-08T15:38:00.000-08:00

When they say "Don't cry over spilt milk" I don't think they mean breastmilk, because it's a lot of work to get that out. Aaron managed to tip one of the bottles over not once, but twice, at 2 in the morning recently and we nearly came to blows! I'll add this and X-box to the list of things that will end up in our divorce papers...hahahahahahahahahaha!

Autumn in the Blue Ridge

2007-11-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

To celebrate Conor turing 4 weeks old we drove to Raven's Roost on the Blue Ridge Parkway where we had one of our first dates 12 years ago and got engaged 10 years ago. The foliage is just beautiful this time of year, anyone fancy a visit to the mountains?

Multitasking

2007-11-05T12:24:00.001-08:00

Strange Dreams

2007-11-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

So I'm not sure if it's sleep deprivation or being new parents, but Aaron and I both have been having strange dreams, Aaron wakes up thinking I am holding the baby in the bed for some reason and I woke up trying to breast feed one of my pillows! Dios Mios!

Haley-arse over tits.

2007-11-02T19:35:00.001-07:00

For those of you considering getting a dog, let me just say there is nothing like being welcomed home from a long day by warm, butt flavored kisses!

Two Ghouls

2007-11-01T09:12:00.001-07:00

Is it me or does Dad look tired? I should take this opportunity to mention that Aaron has been Superdad, changing honestly all but maybe 3 diapers, jumping up when Conor cries in the middle of the night, fingerfeeding, swaddling, making meals, doing laundry, seeding the yard, doing all the heavy lifting and driving, getting us to doctors' check ups and so on. He is an expert burper and has been taking such wonderful care of both of us that I'm sure he is getting less sleep than either the baby or myself. We'd fall apart without him! He's still home from his shoulder surgery which is healing well, but slowly. What a guy! He brings home the bacon and fries it up in the pan!

Superman!

2007-11-01T09:00:00.001-07:00

Ok, here's one with eyes open.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

I've been dressing the dog up for years, so of course it only makes sense that this is the natural progression...

Sleepy Time

2007-10-31T20:12:00.000-07:00

No such thing as too much sleep...

Sleeps like a baby

2007-10-31T20:08:00.001-07:00

Why do folks say "I slept like a baby?" Do they mean they only sleep 2 hours at a time and wake up screaming because they're hungry and they pooped their pants?

The Hill Family

2007-10-31T20:06:00.000-07:00

We thought he'd look more like Aaron...but mom loves the blonde hair!

39 Weeks!

2007-10-31T20:05:00.001-07:00

No, I didn't tip over!

The neat nursery before the baby arrived!

2007-10-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, we've taken forever to add to this and there are so many fun stories to tell, pictures to share, so hopefully we'll get it together now that we've got such a cute baby to photograph!

2007-10-31T19:07:00.001-07:00

2007-02-05T14:34:00.000-08:00

I'm king of the world!"

2007-02-05T14:32:00.000-08:00

Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your golden hair!

2007-02-05T14:29:00.000-08:00

These little piggies returning from St. Patrick's Day in Dublin.